Half Conversations

“….so then I realized that the end was too big for my mouth!”

Yeah, that’s what I heard as they passed me. Two seemingly innocent girls walking down my way to work, but surly……I misunderstood. I mean really! Could they be? Talking about….that?

This happens to me at least five times a day. I’ll be minding my own business, working on work related activities, and I will hear half a conversation –or even just a blurb. The question is why does it always seem to be about sex? Am I sick? Is my mind a dark place of deprivation and lurid images of things better left on film?

I guess. Correction –yes, yes it is.

Here is a list of things I have heard this week (I know because I write them down……for posterity.

“….it smells funny (something, something) so I washed it.”

“….only when on top. It’s more comfortable.”

“….I keep it under a quarter of an inch, otherwise it’s just out of control.”

“….he’s a dick!” (can go either way with this one)

“….batteries (something, something) then I wasn’t bored all night.”

Now…..what the hell is going on with all this? I know what I heard, but could women really be sick little monkeys like us? Or, am I just hearing little parts of a very normal….and work related conversation?

Fuck it! It’s more fun this way!