Fables from Underground

Sensas De Funct, the French (who else would have a two-letter middle name? ) serial killer caught the local bus home and returned to his comparatively (compared to the others who did not cut off people’s heads for the heck of it) cleaner single apartment. He was not empty-handed. But this time it was just the grocery.                 
                 He was a tenant under a landlord who did not tolerate his tenants keeping pets in their apartments. Sensas De Funct, who was not as keen on following the laws as some other people (ones who did not, on Christmas Eve, make Snowmen with actual heads), did more than be insolent to these rigid directives of the landlord. He kept a cat, a salamander and a platypus in his apartment. These animals, much like the heads De Funct collected (he lost interest in stamps very early in his life) and stuffed inside his refrigerator, stayed close to each other (but the animals had better eye contact). But the two groups never met. What Sensas De Funct meant when he said he was having a tête-à-tête or what did he did for divertissement was kept very discreet from his quadrupedal roommates. They were unaware of the fact that their master was a man who did not put roofs over heads but rather heads under their roof.
                 A momentous day arrived when Sensas De Funct’s refrigerator couldn’t accommodate any more heads (be it of humans or cabbage). He decided to proceed and do what any ordinary serial killer faced with such a situation would normally do. He went out shopping for a new refrigerator.
                 Granted a cat, a salamander and a platypus, by no means, made a formidable intelligentsia but inquisitive nature was given by the almighty to all things breathing. Nevertheless, the need for a second refrigerator in the same apartment would awaken the interest of almost anything and anybody. The cat talked to the salamander who talked to the platypus who concurred with the cat’s idea of opening the refrigerator and taking a peep inside.
               After minutes of speculation, calculation and determination (which would bring pride to any creature who defecates in public) the trio joined paws, claws and what else and advanced with their plan. With a degree of teamwork that would put international sportsmen to shame, the odd trinity accomplished their objective. And when they saw what they saw they were shocked out of their furs, scales and everything else. However, very little time did they have to let this “heady” sight sink in as the shock of the quadrupeds were quadrupled on seeing their master stand in front of the door alongside a tall box. He looked at his pets with a wry smile and said, ‘Bonjour Mes amis’. The new refrigerator was very quickly inaugurated.

Moral:¾Curiosity killed the cat and also the salamander and the platypus.